I feel like doing nothing and everything I start I don't finish. I've been thinking about what to write for days and nothing comes to mind, it's funny, I thought I'd write more when I got my computer back. In the end I think I'm a productivity worm, I read so much about it as procrastination because I don't do anything. Maybe nothing pleases me more after years of dopamine wasted as a teenager.

Anyway, March was a month of good things. As well as the money raised to adapt my wheelchair, my doctor has ordered 24-hour home care, including nutritionist and speech therapist. There is also the medication for my defective chromosome that is to be released at the end of the procedures. This medicine for the progression of my disease, the doctor said that my muscles won't come back, but I believe that they will, even if it's just the minimum. Even if it doesn't come back, it will bring other positive factors such as: my tendons will stop shortening, it will be possible to treat my scoliosis and maybe it will be positive for my psychology.

In the end I feel strange about these things because I feel neutral about them, although I am very grateful and realise that these are very important things for my future, I am not as happy as the people around me. It's a strange feeling, I don't know if I should be worried. Could this be a kind of ingratitude?