The third day on the tube was awful, I was vomiting all day. The next day I woke up feeling sick, I almost threw up and I don't think I did because there was nothing in my stomach. My mum read the letter to my sister in front of everyone and they all cried, I thought it was funny, but I felt ashamed because I only wrote it to my sister.

I'm very grateful for this year, despite my broken head, it's been very good, I've been able to get a lot of things I needed: home care, devices that improve my quality of life, I had the tube inserted without complications. The pain is gone, but this thing stings too much, especially when I'm bandaging it.

My ex-girlfriend has been talking to me for the last three months, all the conversations revolving around her mental and family problems. She pestered me to set up WhatsApp, said she couldn't and that it would be better if she set up Telegram. The last conversation we had she was raving about manipulating people to do her bidding, in a megalomaniacal speech about being a good sociopath who would change the world. The end of the conversation was her saying she wasn't my psychotherapist, I was stunned, because I never talked about my problems, the only one who did that and asked for my support was her. I was then blocked.

It's been three weeks since I put the tube in, and it doesn't burn to bandage it anymore. The nurse said it takes a month for it to heal completely, so there's only one more week to go.I'm in my fourth week and it's hard to sit in the chair because the chair squeezes my ribs and the tube hurts, and I'm also feeling very short of breath.

I'd like to wish you all a belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, whether you've had a good year or not, may the next one be much better.