After getting all the home care I needed, I saw an occupational therapist who lent me a makeshift device to hold my hand up high so I could do some exercises. The daily physiotherapy was going very well, and after using this device, things started to improve much more. With this device, I gave the physiotherapist the idea of writing, and on the first day I got very tired, but today I got much less tired. I drew some scribbles with my left hand and even stroked my cat, all by myself.

This makes me happy and very excited, but it also creates a strange feeling. I talked about this with a friend. I have been having many small victories, but they are huge for me. I'm happy, but it doesn't feel like genuine happiness, it leaves a false taste in my mouth. I know that life isn't happiness all the time, I'm not that naive; I'm really grateful for all of this, I truly feel grateful with all my heart, but this bitterness distresses me, I feel ungrateful, because this should reduce my apathy.