This year I turn 27

This year I turn 27. At 18, I choked and couldn't swallow anymore. I wanted to die so badly that I thought about starving myself to death. I lived on soup for a year, reaching 21 kg. When I was 19, my family saved up money to consult a dystrophy specialist, and this consultation saved me. I was prescribed various vitamin supplements, but I only remember the D. I thank God for blessing me with a good family..

I have been optimistic most of the time, but at the end of 2022, I faced a severe depressive crisis. Since 23 December, I have been waking up thinking about this drug for another day, and during the day, thoughts arise: what a worthless life, why don't you free me from this suffering once and for all, my God? I try not to think about “what if”, but it is difficult not to do so at times like these, and I fantasise about another life.

I'm tired of keeping all this in my head, pretending that I'm fine, but what's the point of telling anyone? I can't afford treatment. My mother, sister and I live on minimum wage and a pension. My family would help pay for it, but I can't break the image of happiness despite the difficulties.

02/07/23, Tuesday
↑Índex